The Disney Files: Day 7 – At Sea

It’s Day 2 crossing the Atlantic and for the moment, I’m still enjoying the leisurely routine of waking up, catching the sunrise, going to the sauna, drinking and socializing by the pool – you know, being a lady of leisure.

As I mentioned in the Day 6 post, instead of the usual yoghurt, my breakfast of champions today consisted of Fruit Loops.  I don’t care what anyone says, I will always have an undying love for American branded kids’ cereals.  Maybe I fell under the spell of marketing geniuses a long time ago with this one, but I can’t help but get this childish enthusiasm anytime I see those adorable little cartoon characters on their brightly colored boxes.  I hate that the concept of dietary standards on what is and what is not healthy makes me feel guilty every time I put a box of Cap’n Crunch in my shopping cart.  Why can’t people understand that the whole point of these cereals is to have fun at breakfast, not consume any nutritional value for the day?  But speaking of childish enthusiasm…

Childish Endeavors

I guess now is as appropriate time as any to discuss my baby-making future.  Given that I’m in my late 20’s, society constantly makes me aware that I ought to have children before it’s “too late”, and I’m on Ship Mickey, haven for crumb snatchers, it’s a topic that is kind of hard to avoid in my inner monologue.  Historically, this has been a topic on which I’ve flip-flopped more than your average politician.  I still can’t decide whether or not I would both, want to have children and be any good at raising them properly.  As such is the case, I’m pleased with my decisions thus far to not have any children and I’m more than content to wait until I’m extremely sure because I hear it’s not that easy to divorce your children.

The one thing that really gets under my skin though with the decision to have or not to have children, is the insinuation by others, that people who choose not to have children must be selfish.  When I first started sketching out this line of thought, I came up with over a page of thoughts in support of my argument, but I don’t want to spend an entire post defending my decisions or igniting a culture war.  Suffice it to say, I think that the characteristic of being selfish is more a function of intention, rather than actions.  I’m not going to have children to prove to the narrow-minded population that I am not selfish.  That would be the epitome of selfish behavior because I would be doing so only to appease others, thereby deriving a feeling of worth or acceptance.  I’d rather be labeled as selfish then allow the prejudices of others to define my life.

The weird shit that happens with jetlag…

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I’d like to move on to some lighter reading fare.  As we approach the midpoint of the cruise we have already gone through a couple of time zone changes.  The effects of changing one hour at a time though started to creep up on me.  I kept waking up earlier and earlier and eventually I couldn’t sleep at night.  Last night I was wide awake at 3am (I think this was when I recovered from my food coma) and unfortunately stayed awake throughout the morning.  This led to problems in the early evening.  I told my stateroom host, Ronnie, that I was just going to get ready for dinner and then he could do his thing – his thing being turndown service and towel folding.  Instead of getting ready for dinner, I took a nap, a 4 hour nap.

Having slept through dinner, I was now wide awake at midnight and had nothing to do so I decided to catch up on some writing on the top deck.  It was here where I spotted my fellow tablemate, James, wandering around with a Brita water bottle.  I later learned that the Brita water bottle was missing the filter because he wanted impurities in his beverage.  Then I became jealous because I was spending a small fortune on booze at the bar.  What ensued after he sat down was one of the most memorable conversations of the cruise.  This was one of those moments where I wish I had a tape recorder because my notes couldn’t keep up with all of the nonsense we were discussing.  For lack of a better way to communicate the conversation, I’ll resign to bullet points of the highlights.  Feel free to draw your own conclusions about the two of our personalities after this one.  This whole conversation though reminded me that I love the point in a friendship when facades are dropped and the inner crazies are unleashed.

  • The naked gorilla man ballet on Parisian television – I think we got on the topic of the late night television after I explained that I slept through dinner because I was up at 3am that morning watching The Reader.  So while in Paris, James was flipping through the channels and came across a showing of a ballet which was fine and dandy until the naked man in a gorilla mask came out.   This is when we debated the fine line between artistic and absurdity.
  • Don’t ask how this is known, but apparently hard core porn is available in the Disney Hotel in Japan.  Why am I not surprised?
  • The French Detective, Russian Spy and other notorious guests – When you spend an extended amount in a floating city, you tend to run into the same people over and over again and as a result, notice certain peculiarities.  James told me about a man he identified as the French Detective.  There are apparently a number of plain clothes security personnel on board Ship Mickey and this man fit the bill.  He wore a track suit and was always awkwardly standing on the peripheral of venues.  Then there was the Russian Spy, a similar character, but with a huge mustache.  But then I wondered what my nickname was…
  • Then things took a turn for the worst and we started making jokes about stalking children at the Flounder’s Reef, the onboard child daycare.  We thought it would be funny if one of us waited at reception and when asked by staff which child was ours, we’d respond with, “Oh, just browsing…”
  • On the same train of thought, we also thought it would be a hilarious idea to cause mischief with our wave phones (these are the onboard phones that allow passengers to communicate with each other).  I didn’t realize this, but James pointed out that the stateroom staff don’t clear out the memories of the phones after each cruise.  Thus, a lot of text messages from previous passengers are saved and can be viewed by future bored and inquisitive passengers.  I checked mine and there wasn’t anything good – just a few texts between the parents and what I presumed to be were teenage children.  Our thoughts were basically to send a bunch of sophomoric messages back and forth such that future passengers would feel uneasy sleeping in their staterooms without checking the closet.

The Disney Files

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